Fallbrookisms 24 September 2009

Over easy breakfast

We’ve agreed on marriage, but I don’t want to live with him. Who wants to live with a man?

He’s a Sicilian hunk, gorgeous, dark, delicious. But unfortunately, he has a mother.

My mother used to tell me UPS was a company that picked up bad boys. Now, whenever I see a UPS truck, it makes me squirm.

Said the pear-shaped woman to her shapely sister-in-law: Bitch.

I walk every day, but I don’t know how to exercise the bags under my eyes.

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