‘Shelter-in-place’ a bummer? Six horrible thoughts to distract you ...

... and one freebie

By Kit-Bacon Gressitt
  1. I wonder if all the new-to-homeschooling, fundamentalist parents are trying to teach their kids that the Grand Canyon is only 4,325 years old and was made when God became enraged with Man and smote the Earth with a mighty flood.
  2. Imagine how much worse it would be if U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos actually tried to help.
  3. Please be careful what you wish for: If the virus gets Trump, it could get the rest of us, and our molecules might end up commingling with his.
  4. What will people do if every streaming service goes dark? … !
  5. There’s a really sweet woman down the road, an elderly gal we all watch out for, carrying her daily paper to her porch, rolling her garbage cans back to the side yard, checking in to make sure she doesn’t need anything. I bet she’s the one hoarding the toilet paper, panty liners, and Dove chocolates.
  6. When the pandemic is over and done with; when the desperate need for comfort food, adult beverages, and sex has passed; when the fear and frustration have faded; we’ll poke our heads into the sunlight and see that everything is as it was before COVID-19: Trump will still be president.
  7. Do you think if a White House correspondent lobbed Trump a softball, an invitation to say a few presidential words of comfort, and Trump responded with a hysterical tantrum, God would be so disgusted she’d smite the man with another mighty flood—of anyone-but votes?